Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
