Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
There r osticjed everywhere
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
