Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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