I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
