i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
