I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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