i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
