You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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