everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
