we're blogging at a bar
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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