Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
