Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
