I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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