True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
