but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
we're making bets on your personal life
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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