Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I want to fling myself into the sun
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
