YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
