how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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