Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
