If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
