I wanna bring you to show and tell
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
