You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
