Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
