Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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