whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
