We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
