dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
