Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Randomize
