GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
FUCK WHALES
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
