loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
