I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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