Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
