And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
