You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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