Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Randomize
