I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
