Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
