okay pat passed out under dana's car
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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