You smell like stripper and shame
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
