I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
