As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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