Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
