That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
