She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
