i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
