can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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