If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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