yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Blood and glitter go together right?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
