Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
should my penis look like a turkey
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
as a side note pls kill me
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
