What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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