Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
we're making bets on your personal life
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Randomize
