Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
